Sanity Is A Madness Put to Good Uses
by Kitsune Tanaka
Summary: A series of drabbles, ranging from 100 to 200 words.
1. Llama

"Ed, why do you want a llama again?" Roy looked at his lover with confusion written all over his face.

Edward looked around shiftily. "Just because…"

Roy raised an eyebrow at the small blonde. "Does this have anything to do with my promotion?"

Edward jumped. What promotion?"

Roy sighed, and rolled his eyes. "No. Go ask someone else to rent you a llama."

Edward grumbled. "Fine, but it was supposed to be for Al's birthday."

Roy froze. "Al's… birthday?"

"Yeah, it's tomorrow."

"And you're just telling me this now?!"

Ed shrugged. "You never asked."

Roy growled. "Fine, we'll get a damn llama."

At the rental zoo, Edward squealed with delight. "Can we get a goose too?"

"No. A llama is bad enough. And, why?"

"Why what," Edward asked as they approached the llamas.

"Why a llama of all things?"

Ed shrugged again. "He saw one in a book." He pointed to an ivory and grey llama that stood by the fence. "That one. Can I pet it?" He looked up at the shop owner.

The man nodded. "Sure."

Edward reached for the llama, and as soon as his fingers touched the animal's nose, the tall llama spat in Ed's face.


	2. Correlate

Everyone always asked Ed why he insisted on wearing his red coat, despite it making him an easy, recognizable target. He would bullshit his way though their questions, with answers like "It has my teacher's flamel on it" or "I always have, I never think about it," or "my red coat looks better than your stupid uniform," or "Why does it matter?! I just do."

The truth was, he wore the red coat simply because red was the opposite of blue, and if it was the opposite of blue, it was the opposite of being a dog of the military.


	3. Dim

Fandom: FMA  
Prompt: 3 - Dim  
Rating: PG-13, for language  
Summary: Ed's screwing around with a dim lightbulb  
Genre: Is "Picking on Ed" a genre? If not, humor.  
Note: This took faaar too long to write.

lj-cut text="I'm really flippin' hungry."  
Edward stood barely balanced on a ladder, when Roy startled him by walking in the room, then bumping into the ladder. Edward widened his feet, and pressed his palms on the wall as he glared down at Roy. "The hell was that for, Bastard?"

Roy grabbed one of the legs of the ladder to steady it, then looked up at Edward with an eyebrow raised. "What iare/i you doing?"

Edward looked back down at Roy as is the answer was obvious. "Fixing this damn dim light bulb." He scooted his left hand over to the base of the bulb, and wiggled, while looking at it. The bulb momentarily achieved full brightness, and blinded Edward, then went fully out.

"Dammit!"

Ed unscrewed the bulb a little bit, so he could replace it, and it lit up again, full-force.

"Son of a BITCH!"

Then immediately went back out.

"MOTHER FUCKER!"

Roy sighed. "Edward, just unscrew the bulb, and I'll grab you another one."

"In a minute," Edward grumbled. "Or when I can see again."

"Seeing after images?"

"On top of after images."

Roy chuckled. "That's why you don't ilook/i at the bulb when you're changing it, Edward."

"How was I supposed to know it would do that?! It was dim," Edward screeched. "Plus, I never change lightbulbs!"

"Because you can never reach them," Roy mumbled under his breath.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE COULD LIVE IN ONE OF YOUR SHOES," Edward screamed as he flailed about, making the ladder wobble precariously.

Roy gripped the ladder tighter as he sighed with exasperation. "Are you done?"

"Yes," Edward spat.

Roy rolled his eyes. "I'll get you a new bulb."

Edward blinked a few times, attempting to rid himself of the after images, then resigned himself to leaning his forearms across the top of the ladder. He had grown bored, and started tapping an automail finger on the aluminum ladder when he heard Roy call out, "Just get down. We're out."

Edward clenched his teeth. "What do you mean, we're out?"

Roy walked back over to him, and held onto the back of the ladder again. "We don't have any more light bulbs. I'll get some when we go grocery shopping later."

Edward softly growled as he slowly backed down the ladder. "We're inever/i out of light bulbs. Ever. What? Happened?"

Roy shrugged. "We ran out. It happens. We'll get more later."

"How about now?"

Roy glanced at his watch. "Fine."

What seemed like days later, but was only hours, Roy and Ed finally got back home.

"Are you sure you don't want me to put the new one in," Roy asked as he set bags full of food on the kitchen table.

"Yes, now where are the damn things," Edward mumbled as he began rummaging through the bags.

Roy pulled a small yellow box out of the bag closest to him, removed a light bulb, then handed it to Ed.

"I still can't believe you got the weird-ass squiggly bulbs," Edward grumbled as he walked back to the ladder.

After a few minutes of blindly struggling, Edward finally replaced the light bulb, and brought the living room back to full brightness.

Roy chuckled to himself as Ed climbed down the ladder then dusted off his hands. "I can't believe you went through all of that for a table lamp."

Edward advanced menacingly toward Roy, and growled, "Say one more thing about my height…"

Roy wrapped the smaller man in his arms, and kissed the top of his head. "Let's make dinner," he said softly, in an attempt to distract the volatile blonde.

Which thoroughly worked, until the lamp went out again.

Note: I totally accidentally typed "Toy" for "Roy" more than once. Whoops.

/lj-cut


	4. Zenith

He teases me with his tongue, and it makes me shudder. I try not to make noise, so he doesn't know I'm enjoying myself, and he has to work harder to get me to cum. He dips his head, and rakes his tongue down my cock, from root to tip. I can already feel heat start to pool in my belly, and my hips involuntarily twitch toward his face. He takes his mouth off my cock, and sucks lightly on my balls, but it doesn't really do anything for me, so I tug at his dark hair to get him to stop. When he looks back up at me, I grab the sides of his face, and try to shove my cock down his throat. He chokes on it a little, and I pull back, but just slightly. Just watching him take my cock in his mouth, and looking up at him with his dark eyes, I could almost cum on the spot. But I won't. I'll hold out. I feel my stomach tighten, and I clench my abs harder, holding out.

I won't... No, I ican't/i come just yet.

I bury my fingers in his hair, and thrust harder, rougher.

I start to see black spots, and grip his hair tighter. I hear a whine, and screams, then momentarily feel like I'm floating, until everything goes black for a moment.

I open my eyes back up, and Roy is still kneeling in front of me, cum dripping out of his mouth, and off his chin.


End file.
